Category: Soap opera
Series: Alles was zählt
People: Roman Wild, Deniz Öztürk
Pairing: Deniz / Roman
Rating: G, green
Song: Sleep by Poets of the Fall
Summary: A sudden chill, a tinkling glass, a misty mirror, a sigh of wind in the quiet of the night.
Notes: Maybe it's pretty macabre, but I couldn't help myself. The moment I listened to this song for the first time I couldn't think about anything else. Time-line 1277/1278. Written in October 2011.
- I don't give a shit about ashes, burial, everything! Leave me alone!
- Dude, Deniz! You can't be serious!
- You haven't got a fucking idea.
You go to the bedroom. All day you work, run, take a shower, then go to bed, or at least you try to.
-But Deniz ... he was your boyfriend.
Your eyes are fire.
-Exactly! He was. My life. My future. The only one who gave meaning to everything, and now...
Oh, Florian. Little Flo. How wrong I was. You aren't the one who needs him, but he needs you. Be careful. Don't let him go.
This is Deniz: if you give up, it's over.
And you, Deniz, you can't always disappear behind a door.
Open this fucking door! You two can do it, together.
I follow you. I'm curious to know how far you will go.
You strip and, with an angry yell, you throw your clothes in the room, then you open the drawer.
Since when do you need sleeping pills?
You drop a couple of them in the palm of your hand, three, four, five. Too many, in my opinion, but it doesn't seem you're worried. In fact, you're disappointed because there aren't more, but those are still too many for me.
I slap your hand, and even if you can't feel the shot, the pills roll on the floor. You curse, but you don't bend over to pick them up. You lie in the bed, with a snarl on your lips and your eyes are already wet.
I don't want to see you crying.
I stroke your hair and your breathing is already calmer.
You close your eyes and a few tears get down on your cheeks.
I embrace you, as hard as I can, and then I start blowing on your face for drying those tears.
I can hear your heartbeat slowing down as I keep you tight.
Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in,
Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within
Sleep, sweetie, let your floods as rushing in,
And carry you over to new morning
Your hands shake as I hold them in mine, then sleep descends slowly, softening your heart and stretching those ugly wrinkles on your forehead. Have I ever told you how much cuter you're when you smile? Probably not. There are many things I wanted to tell you, but there was no time, and time is the only thing missing between us.
Sleep, my darling, in my arms this way.
It's hand in your hand,
A shadow over your
A beggar for soul in your face
And still time will be cruel to you. But, you know, gradually, with small steps, you'll put my things and ours away with no regrets. And you'll be able to smile again, and this is the only thing that matters to me, seeing you smile every time I come to see you, till I may.
A sudden chill, a tinkling glass, a misty mirror, a sigh of wind in the quiet of the night.
I'll be there.
Especially in the warmest and surest place you've enclosed in your chest.
Also in your dreams as you'll be in mine. Forever.
Without fear, you can, just as anything else in your life.
People don't know your strength, they don't know how great it is and how often it has been mine.
You just need to heal
Make good all your lies
Move on and do not look behind
And in the light of a new day, don't look behind.
Follow your way that runs toward the sun.
But, sometimes, when the night falls and you happen to feel a little chill on your skin, take off that dark frown from your forehead and close your eyes, smile and think of me for a while.