CHAPTER 1 - YOU HAVEN"T CHANGED.
I'm finally there.
Standing outside that dark oak door.
He's on the other side.
I knock on the door trying to form a smile on my tired face.
I can heard the padding of approaching feet coming closer to the door.
It's opened by a groggy, sleepy man.... who isn't you.
I ask about you. He looks inside towards where I know your bedroom is as if to check something, then asks if I have some message to give you.
So it was true I was just another one fooled by the beauty outside hoping that there was something more inside.
I can hear him call out to me as I walk away.
I definitely don't wanna barge into your life again.
And if you can move on so can I.
I wonder where can I begin?
I have nothing except for the few set of clothes in that ratty old suitcase that is stashed in the room of the cheap motel which was all I could afford.
I still can't understand why my sister suddenly removed me from THAT PLACE before my release date that too with mother's permission she told me.
Not only that but she also gave me some money and told me to restart my life free from the ties that have bound me for so long.
But now I know that all this was for nothing.
Coming back here was a mistake.
I put too much faith in you, in your loyalty, in your love. The same mistake I had made with my parents. Where can I go? I know if I am alone again tonight then I'll definitely do something to myself. As I walk down the street my stomach growls and my mind floats back to that summer day of last year when I had stopped to drop off pamphlets at a clinic and on my way out I had met this grief stricken lady whom I counseled on her sorrow as best as I could. Who told me that she had liked talking to me as she had handed me her business card.
She owned a restaurant.
Maybe a hot meal would make me feel better. Especially one that wouldn't cost me money. I don't have much of it anyway.