But no matter how hard he struggles, he can never quite suppress the instinct to shove Marc aside, to glare and get up in his face and snarl, "Mine."
oh WOOF. that's a good instinct, i LIKE that instinct..but man i like this triad too...
makes Deniz's own throat close over with a hot, throbbing kind of despair.
oh what a gorgeous turn of phrase! that is so so palpable.
reweaving the fabric of who he is
playing him in unconscious accord like a four-handed piece of piano music.
whew I like that, though part of me quails at the idea of Roman being sort of passively played like a piece of furniture or piano, but that's my own hang up, I think it's quite obvious here that it's more like he's being appreciated, the way a professional piano player appreciates a fine instrument and sort of depends on it to evoke the music.
whether one could point and say, That one isn't right.
oh deniz darling, you are! you are right!!
he'll have to get better, so much better at pretending he's okay with this.
oh oh oh, what to say! I want it to work but you make me feel deniz so much here that I start to resent marc...and I don't want to resent marc, I adore Marc, but you give deniz's possessiveness such sweet poignancy, how can the reader not be on his side, how can they not want Marc to go away? I think it's because you are allowing Deniz to look at Marc somewhat objectively, yet you don't allow marc to rise enough in deniz's estimation to be worthy of sharing, and really that's realistic, no one could.
Great great exciting wonderfully well written stuff. love it!!